Streams of thought

I haven't written anything in a while. Not that it matters though. I'm just... I don't even know.It's like my life is a series of routine, seriously though I'm starting to get used to this life. I'll vent out my life's complications some other time, but in the mean time, I just want to write and express my feelings into words.

Coherency eludes me. In my mind is a constant stream of thoughts - worries, actually. It's a challenge to keep being positive when the world doesn't seem to conform with your desires. 

It's been often said that the best way to be happy is to forget past regrets, avoid worrying about the future and focus on the present instead. I've never been  practicing that. But lately it's been very difficult to think about the future. It also hasn't been easy to remember the past. I wish the present would stand still. 

There's nothing I want more than to make the present stay where it is. I often wonder which is worst: being the one leaving or the one left behind? I have experienced both. And the latter, it's not something anyone would wish to go through.

 

Memories are killing me deep inside. I don't want to rush on things just like what I did before.

I just want to stand still and enjoy things right now. 

Okay, enough for this emo-ness. Honestly I just want to erase certain memories in my head that keeps me waking up in the middle of the night. 

I know, I know it was my fault. I exerted too much effort during the courting process but I ended up being fooled by a girl whom I gave everything, whom I promise to catch each and every stars in the sky just to give her. The girl whom I waited for hours in the bus stop just to accompany her home safe.

All I want now is to make the present stay where it is. My hopes are high that I know this time I made the right choice.

Stay happy my dear jeane.

From the deepest voice of my heart,  I love you.

-Anton

Dear Jeane

For almost a number of  days or should I say months, we have been together I felt euphoria once again. I knew I was in love once again. I can still remember when it started- certain circumstances made us meet, perhaps or because destiny just let it be. What I really know is that we were just mere co-nurses back then. I was your silent admirer, "di mo lang alam yan".

I was contented sharing smiles and conversations with you but I never expect that I will fall in love this much. "Natuwa ako ng naging mas malapit ako sayo." I knew you are different, simply unique among the girls I met. "Siguro dahil marami kang talent, haha :), masayahin, totoo sa sarili." I myself could not answer my inner voice telling me: "Bakit mo pa siya nagustuhan?"

I know destiny doesn't play tricks but I'm happy both our roads met in the same direction. "Matagal tagal na din akong di nakapagsulat ng ganito". Sorry for the bad english or grammatical lapses. Words can't describe how much I love you. "Napapa english na naman ako,haha :)"

And if ever our roads separate, I'll always be there for you.. I promise.


-Anton

Fate

Euphoria., Yes I know I'm happy,really happy right now. I'm feeling this so called thing we called "LOVE" again after years of solitude and bitterness.

-Anton, RN,RM,MSN 

:)