Start of A new Horizon

Many Years down and forever to go. Cheers to 2010. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone with a BANG,BANG BANG.

                                                                            -antonski

I have been living on this place we called earth for 21 years. And for this past years, my life has been boring, monotonous perhaps but what could I ask more from Him. I have everything I need in life.Family, friends and persons that makes me smile, just to name a few.

And I was thinking of not writing an entry for the new year  just because ennui is taking over me but  I  realized that I have lots of realizations this year that I need to share to everyone.

I just pinch myself and started to remember that I don’t live along Mayon Volcano. I haven’t set foot in Mindanao, much less Maguindanao. I didn’t get A(H1N1). My family was spared from the wrath of Ondoy and most of all I'm still breathing right now.Lucky,right? All thanks to Him.

So much for the emo introduction. This year has been fruitful.I graduated from college, earned my BSN degree and most of all I'm now a Registered nurse but over the past months, I constantly felt that my life was heading to a tunnel of inevitability wherein I have to make a choice to continue my profession or pursue first other goals in life. It was hard, really hard to find a job in hospitals, the competition is getting harder as thousands of new registered nurses are produced every year.

And I don't want to work on jobs not related to nursing or medical field.I prefer to be a journalist if  there are no options left anymore rather than a call center agent. Thank God that I'm a volunteer in a public hospital.I'm still practicing my profession without any monetary compensation but I'm happy. The experience I'm learning is worth it.Volunteer you may call it but I call it my calling.

I know there are lots of opportunities laying in wait; other doors that remain to be opened. And yet, underneath this facade of calmness and sobriety, those cliches hurt.Reality hurts a lot. In a bitter moment, I realized that no matter how high the standards you set for yourself, there are still obstacles along the way. I just had to accept that my profession is a trend nowadays and its hard to find a job.

The clock is ticking and a few minutes from now,it's new year. The sky will be filled with fireworks and peoples hope of a better life. As  I reminisce things during the past 21 years of life. I know, I still have lots to learn.

Together with all my wishful thinking. I want to greet everyone a happy and prosperous year.

BANG!

Shades of life

Dear God,

       It's been a while since I talked to You. Sorry for being busy this past weeks that I forgot to meditate and breathe for a while. Things are going good and I'm proud to say that I'm contented in my life right now. Thank you for the Blessings. With Your good will,  may I have a good job this coming year and earn enough for my studies.

  Your Son,

Anton

Just my luck

I can't paint a single word or maybe I just don't know how to describe my emotion right now.

I'm so happy and smiling big like a crescent moon.

Euphoria, I'm feeling it again. I don't know if everything will go well this time.

Reading past diaries of someone special. Little by little I'm starting to know more about her. It's really my luck to discover this things.

She was really a nice girl way back then and until now. I never expect that I'll fall this much.

I'm trying to put a rhyme on my words but I can't. I guess my happiness hit me hard.

Maybe I just need to end this rhyme and had a good sleep this time.

antonnoblesseoblige.blogspot.com

Nurses notes

I manage to blog today, Thank God.

Year 2009 is ending a few days from now. Its too early to write a end of the year article right now but it seems that this year had thought me a lot of things and I want to share some of it.

Nurses notes:

1. Never expect anything in return. Yes, you hear it right.Just give and give until it hurts. Be good and kind to everybody and it will return to you a hundred fold.

2. Love hurts but hatred hurts more. Just let go of things that has cause pain in you. Be thankful that you had learned something from it.

3. Dream high and reach for it. What you had right now are Blessings from Him. Don't be shy to ask more just make it sure that you'll work for it.

4.Never be afraid to be different. Laugh out loud, take a lot of pictures, wear a weird cloth. We only had one life. Lets enjoy it to the fullest.

5. And most of all, value the people around you.

I got a lot more of random realizations. I'll share it on my next post. Hope you guys are all safe and happy.

P.S.
> Nurse 1 position in Ospital of Santa Ana. Pray for me guys,Interview is near.

"All we need is a simple smile"            -Antonski

Melancholy strikes

"Its been a couple of months since she left,the scent of her perfume and the light of her face still lingers.Melancholy strikes again and all I can do is to express this feelings into words. We both know that it will be the end.I'm glad we both part ways..I wish her well."

Dearest princess,

It's so difficult to know how and where to begin. I've been thinking long and hard through many ideas trying to find a way.

I finally struck one little thought, a simple story, through which I have been able to think clearly and find understanding, if not satisfaction, and I want to share it with you.

This is a story about a frog who was dying, and the princess who saved his life. Like most typical fairy tale stories we had read, the frog who was dying was saved by a lovely princess. And later on, the frog would turn to a prince because of a kiss from a princess.

How does this apply to us, you may ask, if you haven't already guessed.

I see us stuck in a never-ending fairy tale. I see myself as the lucky frog who was saved from my solitude and monotonous life and you are the one and only princess who I owe my life. The story sounds different in a sense that, my story or should I say our story could be started with this line: "This is a story of a handsome prince who saved a lovely princess from dying." The stereotype opening of a happy ending fairy tale.

How I wish I was a prince, I come to think of it that certain things are just illusions of this world of reality. We are not living in a world of castles, horses, princesses and prince, we live in a world of reality in which everything bites, everything is real. I just had to accept this things.

I have a record of our time together, and have taken a long and honest look at it. It had made me smile and some even saddened me, but it has been helpful in facing the truth. I look back to the days in early June, and the months that followed.That was our days, and it was beautiful. We are both happy I believe. Then there were also conflicts and misunderstandings, inexplicable cutoffs—and the equally fierce avoidance.

Away and apart or together and apart, it is too unhappy. I am watching myself become a person who cries a lot, a person who even must cry a lot, for it almost seems that pity is necessary before kindness is possible. Everyday I face the world with a big smile and positive outlook but still there is this piece of loneliness deep within my heart.

I hope you will not see this as the breaking of my promise but rather the continuation of the many, many endings you and I have begun. I'm always here for you, loving silently even though I'm still the same old frog. I think it is something we both know must be. I must accept that I have failed in my efforts to let you know how much I care and loved you.

My precious princess, this is said softly, even ten­derly and lovingly. And my soft tones do not camouflage an underlying anger: they are real. There are no accusa­tions, no blames or faults. I am simply trying to under­stand, and to stop the pain. I am staling what I have been forced to accept that loving is just a part of living and not all stories had their happy endings.

Goodbye my life, Goodbye my happiness, Goodbye.

Despite the pain, I'm happy to have known you in this special way, and will always treasure the time we've had together. I have grown with you, and learned much from you, and I know I have made major positive contribu­tions to you. We are both better people for having touched one another.

You had thought me many things, I believe that I become more sensitive to others feelings.
I learned that It is by not always thinking of yourself, if you can manage it, that you might somehow be happy. Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and somehow fulfilled.

I don't want to end this letter, there are still many things I still like to share with you but at this late juncture, it occurs to me that a chess meta­phor might also be useful. Chess is a game in which each party has its own singular objective even as it engages the other; a mid-game in which a struggle develops and intensifies and bits and pieces of each side are lost, both sides diminished; an end-game. Both the king and the queen are lost in this game.

I am still your friend, your frog, your prince as I know you are mine. You are my princess, my thunder, my life, my happiness. I wrote this letter with a heart full of the deep and sincere love for you,as well as profound sor­row that an opportunity so filled with promise, so rare and so beautiful, had to go unfulfilled.

-Anton

Random:

>The letter above was written aeon's of years.lol sorry for exaggerating.

>Christmas is in the air. Enjoy the season of sharing guys.

GodBless us all.

Abstract

It seems that I lost my place in the real world.I had been busy this past weeks and forgot to breathe for a while.

And what's more surprising is that most of us are slowly taken by this routines.We became more materialistic rather than realist.Or are we still looking for our identity in this big world? Doing things just to stay in trend might be the answer of this behavior.I got a lot of questions right now in my mind but it seems that this meager space is not enough to tell it all.

Maybe, I just wanted to get out of the trend and breathe fresh air again.There are things I miss,simple things that are often ignored by society.

Just like this things:

>Sleeping in class and waking up just to read a few lines from the white board then sleep again.

>Re-reading sweet messages from my cellphone to make my day.

>Attending class overnights to finish school paper works but ending up sleeping the whole night.

>The noise in the school corridors,the smell of chalks and the chit-chats during lunch time.

>The time when friendster took the world and now facebook is taking all our lives.

>Watching movies and series in dvd's and buying cd's in quiapo.

>Using our i.d. to draw a line in our geometry assignments.

>The time when all enjoy eating together in the family table sharing cooked foods rather than eating outside alone in fancy restaurants.

This are some of the things that what makes us human,it was the trend way back and until now, we are part of it.

But I had realized that I appreciate life in a different way,the best things in life are free.Family,friends,the sun,moon and stars and everything around us.

And most of all I need to breathe again.

-Anton